Get comfortable being uncomfortable

It’s no secret that I love to plan, mainly for the stationary ngl and in those rare moments I actually have free time, and feel slightly bored, then I have something to look forward too. Also my friends are all super busy with real lives of their own, so I have to keep some kinda plan in order to actually see them yanoo, ever. Rather than living the uni life where I could just message and see them 5 mins later with a mug of gin.

BUT then again so much of the past few months I had not planned for.

I hadn’t planned to do an MA in Creative Writing, or to teach drama or to be an editor. I had planned to muddle through, live at home, save money and have myself a lil gap yah. Travel, save, then spend all the money, the usual.

I almost didn’t go to the interview for my current job. I’d had several rejections and thought it was highly unlikely I’d get a position as Features Editor, when I had little experience outside my degree in writing. It seems absurd now to look back and think I almost didn’t go simply because I was afraid that I may fail.

It’s also a challenging job as I’ve never worked in publishing or journalism before, it’s all new, and you’re just thrown in and trusted to be able to produce a magazine or two. It’s amazing and incredibly rewarding, but damn the first few weeks pushed me right out of my comfort zone. I learnt about processes of self-builds and renovations I never knew about, styles of writing, pitching, and just generally working in a team to produce a glossy thing that someone might want to read.

The fear of failure didn’t stop me with applying to drama schools, it actually didn’t even cross my mind. I applied to maybe 6/7 different schools. I didn’t get any recalls, interviews, nada, but  that was a-ok because I know it’s part of the business and that meant I was finally entering the industry. It didn’t feel like a failure to me, as I’d waited a ridiculously long time to apply, that by the time I did, it didn’t matter what the result was. I was finally doing something I wanted to do. It was liberating af, you should try it.

I also finally took my friend’s advice and got Bumble and Tinder. I’d always been kinda uninterested in dating apps and didn’t really see the point or find the time, but I gave it a chance and I’m pleased I did. Creeps aside obvs.

Life has been very full the past few months; I’m always doing something, which initially and still at certain moments makes me uncomfortable. I feel too on-the-go, or like there’s too much to do. But it’s 100% worth it.

In a nutshell, my life could be very different right now. I feel incredibly lucky to be where I am, and I’m aware that I’m only where I am now because I did the things I was unsure about, or more accurately because I took chances I was unsure about.

Do I still want to travel across both islands of New Zealand? Hell yeah. Do I want to swim in lagoons and kayak into coves in Thailand? Duhh. Do I want to return to the Grand Canyon? PLS YES. But those opportunities will always be there. Right now, I am loving that I have an income, a routine, an amazing job, and that I enjoy my Masters, that those lil travels can wait for another day.

So get comfortable being uncomfortable as that’s when the best things start to happen, I promise ya.

Including these views, as even though I hate heights I went right to the top of the rock to the edge when there are hardly any railings. Worth it.

2 Comments

  1. November 29, 2018 / 11:59 am

    Sounds like everything is going amazing for you at the moment, I’m so pleased for you! Your new job sounds so cool, it’s great that you stuck it out and decided to go to the interview, well done! I totally agree, your adventures and travelling will still be there waiting for you for when you’re ready!

    Chloe xx
    http://www.chloechats.com

  2. December 2, 2018 / 12:48 pm

    It sounds as if everything has fallen into place exactly how you would want it to! I am currently taking a short gap at the moment before starting to apply for jobs and although I am not travelling, I am enjoying working how many hours and days I want to each week. Definitely ready to start earning full time though! Good luck with everything. xx

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