One of the hardest things about any type of relationship whether that is with a friend, family member, partners, co-worker, is finding a balance. The balance between the amount of effort, time, the quality of both of the time and effort that each person puts in to avoid a one-sided relationship.
Yet, it often happens. We’ve all experienced it. You try, and try and try to stay in contact with a friend. You message, you give them space, you offer to visit and they accept gladly. Then… nothing. Nada. Not a peep.
They have no issue with you, they could even be your partner of a several years, they just aren’t putting the effort in.
Often these kinds of relationships fizzle out. There’s that friend you’d promised to see after secondary school, or sixth form or university, or your first partner. Perhaps it fizzled out as you never tried, or you did and eventually gave up. There’s nothing wrong with that.
Sometimes life just gets in the way. We’re all hustling along after all, across the country in different fields and taking different paths in life. So don’t cull out all your favourites because you haven’t heard from them in a few days or weeks.
It’s only disappointing when a once great friend, partner, or family member doesn’t return your calls or texts or endeavour to make plans anymore. It’s the point where you lose any kind of balance between you, and decide if you’re going to keep putting in this effort or leave things be. So many of my close friends have experienced losing friends, it seems that sometimes people are just in your life for a short time, they help you through something or visa versa and then they’re gone again.
Maybe you don’t make enough of an effort with some of your friends? But maybe you then take too much time on a toxic relationship?
It’s about knowing when to take a step back, and channel your energy into the good relationships in your life.
This balance needs to be taken with everything – food, fitness, work, family, university – as if you overwork yourself, you’ll burnout.
Finding a balance is difficult, but always worth it.
If your pals aren’t fussed about what’s going on in your life, then why do they deserve to be in it? To see all your highs and lows? They don’t.
A relationship is a two way street. You can walk in either direction. If it becomes one sided, then maybe turn around and get out of that street? Then head down a different one, where people walk on both sides, in both directions.
Focus on who is there for you, and who does support you, and who you actively support too. It’s a balancing act, but you’ll know the good eggs from the bad, the ones that are worth it.