You’ve probably read the title thinking I’m sorry, what?
Well my peaches, if you’d told me 5 years ago I’d feel sad sometimes (about life, but also relating to losing my Dad) but then get over it and get on with my day, I would have been like, Sure thing Susan and returned to my Friends-filled-hibernation.
And YET – and I’m shook at this myself, it’s almost like I’m growing up – when I get sad now, which we all do don’t we? As life isn’t all ponies and bossing everything, and being aesthetic af or in anyway on fleek, it’s also sometimes full of shit with some cream and a cherry on top. Mmm, Tasty.
Side note, I was just about to list all the bad things that make life shit, but I feel like that’s wayyy to heavy for a Monday or for ever really. We’d probs not get out of bed in the morn if we contemplated that, so let’s swiftly move on.
Anyhoo, this contemplation started as today is one of those days, which isn’t that surprising as it would have been my Dad’s birthday, and it’s also the first birthday where my Nan hasn’t been here either. So I kinda had some underlying weird feels about it anyway.
Yes, I was a bit sad this morn, mainly after lovely comments from people on a photo of my Dad that my brother posted, which then led to me having a sneaky lil look at old photos – such a good yet bad idea eh? So giggly snotty tears ensued as I glanced at the many ridiculous photos I have of my fam and then… I’ve been okay again.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not in full Beyonce run the world, change my life mode, more of a scatty, dazed Phoebe who’s been shot in the ass with a dart mode, so obvs I thought this was a good time to do some creative writing for uni. Yass, good luck to anyone having to analyse that piece of work.
I’m quite happily getting on with it, and working through my to do list as normal, rather than dwelling in sadness and developing my lil super unproductive brain fog.
Ain’t life funny eh? It’s like when Meryl Streep can cry and laugh in one short take, that’s basically real life, but less glamorous and with less Oscars.
One second it’s super sad, and the next you’re deciding what to make for lunch. FYI there isn’t anything in, so I may have to put make up on (to make myself feel better & less troll like) and leave to buy sustenance.
But I have had a heap of chocolate delivered by a dreamy human, so maybe I take Easter early and just replace meals with chocolate. Plan.