For Real?

If you can’t tell from the photo of me and a scooby sandwich, this post will not be serious, or be about how to keep your eyebrows on fleek, or what goals to set and not achieve, or how to improve yo self. If you’re looking for that then I’d probs leave now, as this is a more of a no-crap-who-gives-a-tiny-hairy-rats-ass kinda post yanoo, as that is what happens when you’ve watched Gossip Girl in pjs all day.

I decided to write this after I made a mid morning snack/late breakfast of a ham and mayonnaise sandwich. As I was making the aforementioned heavenly sandwich I realised that I actually didn’t give a tiny lil rats ass about the fact I was eating it, I fancied it, I hadn’t eaten bread or a sandwich in FOREVER and so I made it, and ate it. It was the dream. Of course all useful epiphanies happen when eating food, duh, and my epiphany was we should not care what anyone thinks of our relationship with food.

I always always think people will judge me if they see me eat a sandwich, or pasta, or god forbid crisps or a takeaway. Bc then they’ll be like ohh that’s why she’s fat, or damn she should really eat a salad, or just plan ol’ ew. Lets just think on this though, those people, the ones who be judging, where would they be then ey? When I’m in my pjs making a sandwich in ma kitchen, oh yep out living their own lives making their own sandwiches and they couldn’t care less about what I eat.

PS I think of myself as fat while being a size 12 bottom (dat ass *I cry*) and size 10 tops and dresses. Oh dear lord get out the crane ey? But no, I’m not fat, I have fat like everyone else and have hips only Shakira could rock, but that’s how I’m built and that’s how it is.

Everyone also fluctuates in weight over time, sometimes it’s easier to eat healthy, others not so much. Some people actually don’t even think about it, but GUARANTEED not one lil human that you know has not used the phrase I’m on a health kick or I’m trying this new diet or I’ve got to start eating a bit healthier, or my fave The diet starts tomorrow. When ahhh hunni no it doesn’t.

So why even say it? Well because if we aren’t trying to be ultra-thin-healthy-yogi-bikini-body-human then who are we? Oh wait just yourself, sat watching Friends in leggings pal. BUT what the flip is flipping wrong with that? That you’re living your life, doing your thing and being yourself. Hmm??

Being healthy is wayyyyy more about balance than anyone really says, it’s not about restricting yourself to the point where all you think about is food, and the foods you shouldn’t eat. Food does not need to be the bane of your life, or another reason to feel judged. Also judgemental people who do think others are fat or judge them on their food are a) sad losers with nothing else to do, or b) jealous of your food, or c) potentially just being mean or having an off day, so give them some credit, as they may be nice sometimes, perhaps. Or they may be a misshapen bundle of all three, but their opinion doesn’t matter to your life at all.

Just bc you eat like a human, not a superhuman like lil ol’ Gwyneth doesn’t make you a bad or lesser person. So eat carbs, eat meat, eat cheese, or chose to not eat them. Yo choice, and don’t be so effected by others that you starve yourself or destroy your mental health by listening to people’s opinions or hypothesising other people’s thoughts that you cannot even hear (the worst ey) and if anyone dare say them to you, just walk your fine ass away as they don’t deserve to see it.

Why this may all seem v random and have stemmed from a rather insignificant – though DELECTABLE – sandwich, it was something I feel very strongly about actually. The rest of my posts in this series will hopefully have a point, and not all be based on food or my random thoughts, though I cannot promise anything.

PS there is no photo of said sandwich as I ate it so fast, no ragrets. This is instead a photo of me with an American sandwich, exotic no?

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