Life post-uni: Anxiety

University brought so many amazing things into my life, as well as hangovers, many an existential crisis and my awareness of the price of food. It also brought some other lil things, like friends, parties, mems for life and sadly brain fog & its gal pal anxiety.

I’d never really had anxiety beforehand, not like I’d experienced at uni anyway. And I always managed to control it before uni, because my main anxiety would occur before an exam but then my philosophy of whatever happens happens, would pipe my anxiety back down again.

At university this technique didn’t really work because a) I had no idea what I was doing and b) I felt like I never improved or more accurately hadn’t been taught how to improve. There were some basic grade boundaries, the odd hint or tip, but that was the extent of the help really.  It was here’s an essay, go do it, oh babe, wait, that’s wrong. Great.

But wholly moly I was not prepared for the anxiety after leaving uni.

People asking, SO, WHAT’S NEXT?

Looking at you like oh hun, don’t fail or waste your life. Also, ya better get moving as ya should have already had 4 internships, offered a grad job, bought a house and met the love of your life.

Yep, no pressure there.

I mean 80% of this pressure was from me, as I thought at 21 I’d have the majority of my life together rather than still planning for my life to come together. Spoiler. I don’t think it ever comes together in the way you think, sorry not sorry for bursting that lil bubble.

The answer is anyway kids, I have no idea what’s next for me, and oh my days that’s exciting. Yes, I want to go from hobbit levels of existing to running the world in T-5 years, but that gap between my dream life and reality will keep me hustling and bustling. Well, that’s the plan anyway.

I started writing this a lil while ago, and since then things have begun to come together miraculously. But my main learning curve in real life is that things are far more unexpected than you expect… if that even makes sense. There’s good and bad, and sometimes you plan things and they don’t happen, sometimes you expect nothing of something and oh my days it then becomes an amazing opportunity and you’re completely shocked by the whole thing. Then ya listen to Beyonce’s Formation over and over again, as girl you slay.

I think a bit of anxiety is good, but tryin to keep faith after uni that you haven’t wasted three years and that all your dreams won’t come true, is v difficult. I’m just going to keep working hard on things that are important to me and hope for the best, wish me luck and luck to all other graduands about to embark on chasing dreams, getting out of debt, and generally not failing at life.

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