The Girl She Was Before by Jess Kitching

There’s nothing I love more than blitzing through a thriller, so I was excited to dive into Jess Kitching’s debut novel, The Girl She Was Before.

Synopsis:

A crime thriller with a brilliant twist you won’t see coming!
Powerful, packed full of gruelling details that will linger with you long after the book has finished.

Nat lives a picture-perfect life, but it wasn’t always this way. A victim of horrific bullying when she was a teenager, Nat will do anything to keep distance between the girl she was before and the woman she is now.

But when her best friend is murdered and people begin to point their finger at her, Nat’s new life quickly unravels.
To Nat, it’s no surprise the crime happened at the same time as the return of her biggest tormentor, Chrissy Summers. A woman with a violent streak who destroyed lives when she was younger and isn’t afraid to do it again.

Face to face with the past she so firmly keeps behind her, Nat’s sanity wavers as her determination to reveal Chrissy as the monster she knows her as rises to dangerous heights.
The question is, can Nat prove Chrissy is a killer, or will Chrissy get to Nat and her family before she has the chance?You can’t outrun the past…

The Girl She Was Before: Review

I have high hopes for thrillers, after devouring Shari Lapena’s novels over the years (which feature on my top reads for 2019 and 2020), yet, this book is right up there with those for me. It’s incredible.

After the prologue, I was gripped. The opening section ‘Then’ already misled me about who the story was going to be about, thinking that we’d jump back and learn more about Hallie and Bree but instead we learn about them through our protagonist Nat.

As all good thrillers start, Nat has the ‘perfect life’ so much so that she documents it on Instagram under the handle ‘Finding the Good Life.’ The influencer context makes the book feel very contemporary (and slightly more alarming) as it explores a wide range of themes including bullying, motherhood, friendship and forgiveness.

I think everyone has nightmares about school, comments they wish they could forget or moments they’ll never forget, but this is a deep dive into that trauma. It’s a harrowing look at the impact people, especially bullies, have on us as teenagers and how that still impacts us as adults.

The bullying in the book is horrifically dark, but that’s a testament to Jess’ writing. She’s created such complex, detailed characters that some of them really do repulse you, and sections of the book will be quite difficult for some people to read (especially if they’ve experienced bullying).

As everything unravels, it’s also clear how much certain people from your teenage years who knew you before you ‘grew up’ and evolved, can make you regress. They goad you into being the worst version of yourself or the one you wish you could forget. It’s a warning to keep growing and moving away from people who bring you down, as well as how deep a teenage grudge and trauma can run. It also asks the difficult question how long would you hold a grudge about school?

It’s a gripping novel that constantly surprised me – even when I thought I’d pieced it together, I was completely wrong. As a novel, it’s an incredible read. As a debut novel, it’s exceptional – it’s the kind of book every first time author dreams about writing.

Jess has also signed a three book with her publisher so we’re guaranteed more books (!!) and I can’t wait for the next one.

Jess Kitching is from Bradford in the UK, but she currently lives in Sydney with her fiancé Jack. It also makes my heart soar to know that Jess’ two goals in life were to move to Australia and have a book published… and she’s done both. Legend.

Jess’ debut novel, The Girl She Was Before, is out now.