Girl, we’ve all been through a break up and we’ve all been dumped right? You’re probably not feeling your best, so I’m here to cheerlead you back to loving yourself and life and slaying the next chapter of your single life. This is effectively the Lizzo of blogs.
So let’s kick this off with…
You are better off without them.
If they didn’t realise what they had when they were with you, if they dumped you then they certainly don’t deserve to be in your life and you’re better off without them. Cue song.
Yes, it might not feel like it in the initial aftermath, but they are not worth your time if they don’t see your value. And if they don’t care enough to work on things, then they’ll never care enough. You deserve better than that.
This will also be one of the best things to happen to you, read more about that here.
Know your own worth
For anyone who needs to hear this today, you’re fucking brilliant. Anyone who made you feel less than is not worth your time, energy or effort. It’s easy to be impacted by someone who’s close to you, but if they don’t realise how amazing you are. Then they can jog on sweetheart.
Turn up the tunes.
Music will always boost your mood. Turn off anything remotely sad and get some of your favourites on, even if we can’t go out and dance, you can still dance at home.
Talk to other men or women – whichever you prefer.
The best way to get over someone is to realise how many other people there are in the world.
There’s plenty of people your type, or a new type. It’s thinking of the possibilities and fun to be had ahead.
Nothing bad can come from talking to someone when you’re single. Be reassured by the fact that there are so many different types of people out there in the world, that will be far more interesting than anyone you’ve been with before.
Do what you want, when you want.
Enough said. Do you remember those TV series, books, people you really wanted to see but never got round to? Maybe due to compromise or time with another person?
Well, you can watch and do and be what you want. It’s your choice. Your life is completely your own my sweet.
You can be an uncompromised version of yourself
Have you ever slightly watered down the person you are for someone else? If your answer is no, then likely you haven’t been in a committed relationship before.
Compromise is how relationships work, SO when you’re single you get to be the uncompromised, 110% you that you want to be.
Whoever the hell that is, welcome!
Read the Slumflower’s books.
If you aren’t aware of Chidera’s books, first of all, where have you been? Both of her books, What a Time to Be Alone and How to Get Over a Boy centre around self-love, knowing your self-worth and the power of being an independent single woman in the world. Read them, read them now.
Getting dressed up
There is nothing better than getting dressed up to boost your mood, whether you go out or not, it’ll make you feel a thousand times better. I’d recommend doing it often, there’s always a reason to have a good day right?
See your friends
Your guys & gals will get you through this. They will be there for you in ways that a partner never will and never take that for granted.
See your Family
Similar to friends, your family will love you unconditionally. Nothing too weird, wonderful or sad will ever cause them to hate you, so go all in and utilise the people literally out on this planet to support and cheer you on.
Block them.
Controversial but I personally don’t want be friends with people I can’t stand – who has time for that? And if they annoyed you after/in the relationship, then they’re seriously going to grate on your grill now.
I’m friends with a couple of ex’s – who are nice good people, they’re just not my person.
Remember when you got over someone before.
The thing with major break ups is that as an adult you’ll probably have more than one. I’ve had two at the age of twenty-three, where I was genuinely heart-broken. We all have them, we all get through them and we all find people on our level eventually – if we want too (so I’m told).
Remember that person you never thought you’d get over? Maybe it was your first crush? Maybe you’ve even forgotten all about them at this point? Well you got over them, so I’m here to tell you you’ll get over this one too.
You never needed them in the first place.
We’re all programmed to think we need to have someone to do things with, to share life with, well you already have all of those people – your friends & family! It was never in that one person you were going out with, and maybe this is the point you realise that the person you’re with now isn’t that for you.
You don’t need them now and you definitely didn’t need them then. You need great people who appreciate you and I’m sure you have a bus load of those!
Time learning is never time wasted.
Yes, right now, it may feel like a waste of your precious time, but REMEMBER THAT the next time someone like that enters your life you will swiftly show them the door. Time spent learning what you do and don’t stand for is never time wasted.
Buy new underwear.
New chapter, new underwear. The more confident you feel in it, the better. Just saying.
Then when the next relationship comes along whenever that maybe (don’t rush it) you’ll be in a far better position with yourself for the next person that comes along.
Have you been dumped? What advice would you go back and give yourself?
I love each and every one of these points! I personally have never experienced heartbreak from a relationship breaking down, just a friendship, but honestly, all of these things could probably apply to the end of a friendship too. Ultimately, you were no longer meant to be in each other’s lives and it just means that better things are waiting for you. Would you really want to stay in a relationship/friendship if you are not truly happy when happiness is out there?! xx