Is moving home in your twenties something to be ashamed of?

I don’t know about you, but when someone tells me ‘I’m moving home’ it’s never really said in a positive way. Even though, they might absolutely love the humans they share that home with, it’s still I’m having to move back (emphasis on the back) home.

I don’t know when, but somewhere along the line moving back into your family home in your twenties became something to be ashamed of. It’s almost viewed as a failure that you hadn’t succeeded as a fully-fledged adult and had to return to your family nest.

I moved back home after University, then I moved out last summer. And then in February, I moved back home again. 

At the time, part of me felt as though I had failed, as my previous living arrangement and relationship hadn’t worked. I’ve written more about 5 ways I’ve failed this year and why I’m ok with them here.

I’m also very quick to blame myself, especially when it comes to how much progress I’ve made. So yes, I guess I wondered if I was moving backwards.

But the reality is, if you’re lucky enough to be able to move back home in your twenties or beyond, it is never a bad thing, or a step back, or a failure or weakness.

In lots of ways moving home a brilliant option if you have it, it’s been great for me and here’s why:

I’ve been able to save money 

Renting is a money-making machine, so living at home allows you to dramatically cut your outgoings. Mates rates and all that right?

Living at home is a great way to save money as university wipes out most of your finances, entry level jobs don’t pay that well and life is really ridiculously expensive. 

I love my family

This isn’t the case for everyone sadly, but if you chose to move home then at least you know who you’re living with and have an existing relationship with them. 

There’s no surprise flatmate quirks to get used to. It’s comforting and familiar, which helps when 80% of your life is typically uncertain.

I absolutely love my family, even though we’re all so similar and can drive each other mad as well as merry! They’re great people to live with, it’s so easy and there’s no drama. And if you live with people you get along with, even being in the space with or without them is really relaxing. 

My Dogs! 

If you’re not a pet or dog person (but who isn’t though deep down) then you won’t care so much, but being with my dogs every day for walks, cuddles and their strange quirks (lots of odd sleeping positions and snoring) has been so bloomin’ lovely.

I’m a huge dog-lover and lockdown has provided plenty of quality time together. Do I now worry how they’ll cope without me 24/7 at home? Absolutely. But for now, it’s been so lush.

I have my independence 

This might sound odd as I think the expectation is that you move home and lose your independence as you’re a ‘child’ again in the house. But I’ve had more freedom to get on with things that I enjoy doing whilst living at home, as my family understand that I have different interests. 

Again, it’s about trust, respect and expectation; they don’t expect me to spend every minute together, watch the same TV shows, go out with them when they go out. We spend time together, but we also all do our own thing. 

I have the freedom to spend my time how I want to, as I’m respected and treat my family with respect. I also still do everything I was doing for myself when I didn’t live at home. It isn’t a hotel, sadly, I still have to do my own washing. 

The perks to living at perks 

There are also just certain little perks to living at home. Meals are sometimes made for you, washing up is sometimes done for you, cups of teas or coffee are made, you get to spend time with family friends, your family. All of which is really lovely and heart-warming when you’re tired and grumpy after work, in the morning, or before you’ve eaten.

It was the right and best decision for me at the time

Don’t ever be made to feel bad about doing something that’s right for you. The right and best thing for me was moving home after my relationship ended. It meant I got to go into lockdown with my family, have my own space and have the time to think about what I wanted to do next.

One of the best decisions I’ve ever made was to move home again (again). It might not even be the last time I move back home; you never know how life is going to work out.

But I don’t think moving home is ever a bad thing or something to be ashamed of, if anything be grateful that you have the option to move back home.

How do you feel about moving home in your twenties?

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  • Hannah says:

    I moved home after graduating University as well and honestly, I hated it. I felt like I had changed so much as a person since I had originally left for University but my parents still considered me as the same person that had left three years ago and it was a struggle for both of us to come to terms with that. I think if you get along with your family and can still maintain your independence then it is definitely the best idea, especially when saving up, but for me, it was not an option I could maintain long-term without losing part of myself. xx

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