There will be times at university where you will want to say show me the money. What have my university fees and student finance gone into?
I often feel like Chandler and Ross in Vermont that I need to find ways to make back the money I’ve spent on this little venture to university. But I can’t really steal the salt, batteries, lightbulbs, toilet rolls or tampons and there is also no maple candy involved. Dammit.
The main issue I have is where does the money, my university fee go?
I spend £3,000 a term (I get the student finance loan) to do an English degree where I have seven hours of contact a week.
Tim, my best friend’s boyfriend worked out that for each lecture that works out as £90. So when we miss a lecture, we waste £90.
With that money I could buy nine to ten Salt and Pepper’s take aways, aka almost a whole university term worth of drunken food.
I could buy a FitBit, get a flight to Amsterdam, or Norway, or France, or Germany. Or I could use the money to get a train home twice and back again. For a one, one hour lecture. Again I come to, what?
Also it’s worth noting that some of our university lectures aren’t worth a five pence piece or that mint that your Grandma had in the bottom of her bag for years, and a condom with a hole in. They are that useless.
So in my best Tom Cruise voice I ask you my university, to show me the money.
Even office hours are hit and miss. Some tutors are helpful, others are completely unreliable.
So it isn’t that surprising when you’re in lecture and scan the hall and think I have never seen that human before, even though we’ve been on the same course for a year and a half.
As in reality nobody has got the time, or the resilience or patience to listen to pointless lectures. I also wouldn’t invest the money in it either, if it was my own.
I do have moments now and again where there’s an inspirational talk or tutor, or find an amazing tex where I feel that this is why I came to university and all the fees are worth it. But it’s rare.
So I end up spending more money to compensate for the money I’ve spent on being at university, just remember at some point to check your bank balance. This must be why student overdrafts exist though (lightbulb moment).
On a more positive note, take comfort in student memes as in the end that is hard proof that we all feel the same. Everyone is poor, can’t feed themselves, on social media till 3am, has watched all of Netflix twice and avoids responsibility.
And we are all united in wasting or spending an obscene amount of money to go to University.
How do you feel about the university fees and your student debt?
Read more about my time at University here.