I miss my friends. I miss them a whole darn lot. But I think lockdown might be good for all of our friendships.
Relationships are a balance of give and take and it can be uncomfortable for both people when it leans more one way than another. I’ve written more about the balancing act of friendships here.
But when you can’t even see your friends, can’t go for a cheeky drink or dance, who has been there for you?
Again it’s a two way street. Perhaps someone has reached out to you and you haven’t returned that, maybe today is the day for messaging them back? Or maybe you’ve not spoken to one of your closest friends in a week and feeling guilty as a week can feel like three in isolation?
No worries – Take this as your sign to message them right now.
Hopefully we’ll be more mindful in future of how quickly emotions can change and keeping an eye on our friends mental health. Lockdown is a bit of rollercoaster for everyone for so many different reasons, as while we’re all going through it, it’s slightly different for each person and affects them in different ways.
Moving forward we should all be more intone with our own mental health and that of our friends and hopefully be more open and honest with our loved ones about how we feel and the help we need.
I’ve also found it a great way to reconnect with people I’ve not seen in years or those I’ve never met in real life – a big haul of blogger, creative friends that all like to spend their day writing and dreaming = me. Social media is great for connecting with others and taking inspiration from people who do or aspire to the same things as you do.
Yet, it also might shine a light on the energy drains and one-sided relationships that we all so easily fall into and stay uncomfortably in for years.
Maybe lockdown has helped fizzle them out, or made you think about whether that relationship is worth or isn’t worth your energy anymore. But even so the clarity of who the good, reliable, I’ll be 2 seconds, friends are compared to the leaves you hanging once again and has been MIA for months on end.
Some friendships are worth the months apart. I have friends that I’ll see after months apart and it’s exactly the same as when we met. You know which friends are there for which times and that’s great.
If you don’t have a weekly quiz with one of your besties that doesn’t make you or them a bad friend; maybe they don’t like quizzes, maybe they don’t know the answer to who was the fourth president of the US or didn’t have FB ten years ago to embarrass you with old statuses and ‘guess who wrote this’ round.
There’s so many different kinds of friendships and it’s embracing the ones that have brought you comfort, positive energy, support and joy during this frightening and isolating time.
I would personally prefer to do a one-on-one or small group calls with a glass of something or a snack to catch up on the week that’s gone by… but I think that’s because I’m frying my brain with a gazillion tasks and need to kick back and relax post work and side work work.
Not being able to see friends, does make you realise how many times you’ve declined to see them due to work, revision, stress, double commitments, not enough time or money etc. I see myself saying yes as much as possible in the future to every opportunity I have to being physically (or virtually) with them.
We’ll potentially be more social and proactive to making plans and finding the time around our responsibilities at work or home to make sure we make time for the people we love.
Anyhoo, I know this time has made me appreciate how lucky I am to have my friends and that lockdown has only strengthened them and my desire to see all their beautiful faces as soon as (it is safe to do so and) humanly possible.
Do you think lockdown has strengthened your friendships?