Well, well, well, dating apps my old friends. I dated on and off throughout the pandemic, but honestly, I couldn’t see people I liked, so I really didn’t get the appeal of going to meet a stranger in the park. It’s how all murders start right?
Beside the frankly terrifying safety implications for women being unable to meet men in public, busy spaces, it’s also just not that fun if you can’t meet up in person or go anywhere. Saying that, some of my friends have started new relationships in the past year and it’s worked out SO well. I think that pretty much sums up dating though, there’s no one size fits all method.
I’ve loved being single during the pandemic and as wanky as it sounds, I have been that person working on myself, which is how I’m freelance and working for myself now. I date here and there when I feel like it, but I’m not really missing anything or taking it that seriously. Dating apps after all are similar to my DMs and half full of creepy men sending degrading messages.
Yet, before we collectively dip our toe back into to the hit and miss selection of humans on dating apps, let’s just set a few things straight beforehand to make dating that *little* bit easier and more fun after the pandemic.
Don’t feel pressured to start dating again
This should always be rule number one. You might feel pressured to date again as your friends are dating or you’ve been single for a while or just because the world is reopening so you think you should. All of which are reasons not to date. If you aren’t doing it for you, don’t do it. Keep your money and cute outfits for days out with your pals.
Go somewhere you like
One of my friends once said to me that she loved going on dates as she got to try out new bars, restaurants and cafes that she’d always wanted to go to and meet new people. It was such a simple description, but she made dating sound SO good. I think the best way to make it slightly more fun (regardless of the company as I can’t promise you that’ll be good) is to pick somewhere or do an activity that you actually like.
Don’t give up on it too soon
Pretty self-explanatory, but don’t give up too soon and settle with someone who seems OK. Equally, don’t panic and give up on someone great if you’re worried you haven’t dated enough. Give them a chance (if they’re worth it) if not, then there’s sooo many more people to swipe through. Also, don’t delete the app after 5 minutes and two dull conversations, just move the app to the back of your phone and forget about it for a few days, then come back to it when you’re ready.
Chat less, date more
This is a big one. I don’t see the point in messaging people for weeks on end without actually physically seeing them. If you’re never going to meet up then why are they taking up some much of your time now? Sure, sometimes it’s necessary in the long run, but throw in a Facetime to break it up if you know you won’t be able to see each other anytime soon. It’s easier to get a sense of who they actually are in person rather than get attached to the idea of who that person could be if you just meet up. It saves time and getting any kind of attachment to an idiot before you even meet them.
Don’t compare your dating life to anyone else’s
Some people are consistent, serial daters with efficiency, ease and they even make it look really enjoyable. Other people will go on a date every so often and think, yep, that’s enough for me. Everyone does their own thing and in my experience increasing the quantity of dates doesn’t increase your chances of meeting someone you gel with.
Know your worth
After potentially a year of being single or less attached than ever before to dating, don’t lose your sense of worth. Know who you are and what you want and use that sense of clarity you’ve found in the pandemic to guide you. Nobody is worth feeling bad about yourself. If you see a red flag, get out now, don’t wait around to see if they change as they never do.
How do you feel about dating again after the pandemic?
Leave a Comment